While visiting my mom last weekend, she was on the phone with her friend Gil. My mom is voting for Clinton as she’s afraid of a Turnip presidency–which I get to a point–and Gil is too. They were both trying to get me to do the same, but I was for Bernie before (my mom was too) and now that he’s out I’m voting for Stein.

All weekend, my mom is watching Turnip drown in his own filth on numerous news channels; I’m avoiding it to maintain my sanity. As I now hear her talking to Gil on the phone, I decide to say hi.

Me: Tell Gil I said hi and I’m still voting for Stein.
Mom: David says hi.

That’s pretty much this whole election run-up in a nutshell.

My friend, Adam Dickstein, is an old friend from high school as well as one of my RPG GMs. He wanted to do a profile on some of his favorite players and I had the honor of going first. I love the guy, but a couple of his stories of me are a little exaggerated (when we met in the city a few weeks ago, he told my daughter a great story involving a spy game he said I was running, but when he told me the same story when we were in tenth grade, it involved completely different people), but I’ve learned never let that get in the way of a good story. He’s a great guy and I was glad to be a part of his blog. Check out the profile at the link below.


Marquee Humor

April 2, 2016

This was displayed last week at the Venue Theatre in Lexington, MA

My Big Fat Greek 2
Lady in the Van

Worst. Porn movie title. Ever.

There’s a movie out now called Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. It’s about a journalist’s experience in Afghanistan, which means the title is a cute pun. However I didn’t know this and had to look it up—partly a failure in marketing, but it’s also a failure for those who setup these marquees. Prime example, this was up two weeks ago at the Apple Cinemas in Cambridge, MA:

Star Wars WTF

Spelling the title (even two words) out would make things so much easier.

First World Problems

April 1, 2016

The good news is I don’t have strep throat. The bad news is my allergies have hit insanely bad heights. My allergies were acting up last week; on Sunday I thought it was becoming a cold because of the roughness in my throat. I think I already got Sophia sick the next day that she stayed home from school, but I was feeling better… until last night when I thought my left eye was going to combust in the socket, while simultaneously oozing mucus. When I woke up this morning with a more painful sore throat I went to the local clinic, because the last thing a food delivery person needs is strep throat. No strep—who knew they had a 7 minutes strep test? The last time I got tested for step I had to wait a day and a half—but an allergic reaction that has overcome all of my systems. I swear the left side of my head—not sinuses, nose or ear, but the whole head from crown to shoulder—is stuffed up. It sucks. But yeah, I know that there are nations on this planet where I wouldn’t make it past the Sunday sore throat. So yeah it sucks, but I’ll manage.

Sophia had her first world problem today, too. I got a call on the answering machine letting me know that she made the next step in the Red Sox Scholarship award. This means out of he 100 or so people who applied for it, 26 students were picked to be interviewed in person. That happens April 23 at Fenway Park, which is cool in itself. However that was the weekend I was tryign to get up to Canada so Sophia could see her baby nephew. We were trying to go for his first birthday this month, but Sophia’s brother wouldn’t be there until April. So I found the perfect time to go during April vacation and after a bunch of doctor appointments, and now this got in the way. So the bad news is we have to push the Canada trip back to May. The good news is Sophia made the next step to get a scholastic scholarship.

All and all things are okay.

Marquee Humor

February 23, 2016

This would be the saga at the Lexington Venue theater in Lexington MA. A couple of weeks ago they were promoting the next slate of films to come… all on one line.

Big Short Room Danish

I felt they needed to switch Room and Danish, but that’s me.

When the time came, the films were in rotation.

Big Short      Carol
Danish Girl    Room

I think the first line was actually the first rough draft of “Long Tall Sally.” I’m afraid to ask what goes on in the Danish girl room.

This week they changed the order of some of the films.

Big Short   Room

Reminds me of apartment hunting in New York City.

Speaking of short, this was one I missed a few weeks ago at the Apple Cinemas in Cambridge, MA.

I know Kevin Hart is petite, but seriously?? That’s harsh…

Marquee Humor

December 23, 2015

Saw this at the Apple Cinemas at Fresh Pond Mall in Cambridge, MA.

Spectre Sisters

Wasn’t that a goth band in the ’80s? Correct me if I’m wrong.

At the same theater:

Alvin and Chip

Way to turn a dumb children’s franchise into a indie buddy flick. It’s not like you’re out of letters guys; finish the word. It becomes even more odd with the movie after it:

Alvin and Chip
The Good Dinosaur

Not sure if that would improve that Pixar film, but it couldn’t hurt.

About a week ago, I forgot about this one at the same theater:

The Martin Creed

To any of my Catholic readers, tell me is this anything like the Nicean Creed or no?

I don’t normally do this, but I didn’t have a place to put it. Saw this on the back of a taxi yesterday heading into Boston:

Satisfaction is our Serv ce

Obviously proofreading isn’t included in that.

Thank God It’s Thursday

November 27, 2015

I’m so glad it’s a long weekend, because I need to recoup. I’m still dealing with the cold, but now sort of the aftermath of it. I’m sore from coughing so it hurts to sneeze, cough or breathe heavily. I’m exhausted and Sophia isbored in the house. At least I have a little time to sleep which I hope I can put to good use. I tried so far but with mixed results. One of the many reasons I hate being sick. I’ll feel better when I’m back to work and not dozing on the couch.


Senses Working Overtime

November 23, 2015

While walking home from Sophia’s afterschool program on one of the chillier days this week, there was this conversation:

Sophia: I can smell the frost.
Me: Excuse me?
Sophia: I think I can smell the frost.
Me: How did you manage that?
Sophia: I don’t know. I can just smell when it’s cold.
Me: You don’t need to smell when it’s cold. You can feel it.
Sophia: I know but my nose bothers me when it gets cold.
Me: Mine too, I just don’t believe I can smell the air when that happens.

Luckily we refilled her allergy medicine the other day.

Sophia has been getting more into the music I like, which means I can listen to my rock stations in a car with her (whenever I rent a car). One station I listen to, WAAF 97.7 out of Brockton, does this thing on Tuesdays that she’s really gotten into which is Looney Tunes Tuseday. At the top of every hour each Tuesday, they play a comedy song or parody or something of the like. The first time Sophia heard it they played a Weird Al Yankovik song, which we both love; so when Tuesday comes around she expects to hear a Weird Al song or something funny of that nature. The thing is WAAF sometimes plays funny parody songs; other times they play odd humored songs that tend to trend more adult that one would hope—two weeks ago we both got to hear Kid Rock and Joe C’s “Devil Without a Cause” for the first time. On our every other week trip to therapy, I hope for Weird Al, but usually get the adult stuff.

This week, we were heading back from therapy and th etop of the hour hits, so Sophia wants to hear what song it is. I flip to WAAF and the song starts. It takes me a measure to hear it correctly and realize that it is the band King Missle and their only hit (like they have any other popular songs in their catalogue). I roll my eyes as I realize they’re already into the lyrics and any chance to switch the station is gone.

The worst thing I want to do is lie to my daughter so this is how things go.

Sophia: “What are they saying?”
Me: “It’s a song called ‘Detachable Penis.’”
Sophia: Phoenix??
Me: It’s not Phoenix.
Sophia (suddenly realizing what I said): Oh.

I’m amazed I had an out in there and missed it. We listen to more of the song in an awkwarrd silence.

Sophia: What genre is this song?
Me: I have no idea.

Yeah, so that happened.

Marquee Humor

November 10, 2015

This was up at the Apples Cinema at Cambridge MA:

Last Witch Hunter

Does anyone think they’re trying to tell us something something.

This was at the Venue Theater at Lexington MA:

Meet the Patels Martian

I think I remember that sitcom…