More Bucket Lists

My friend asked a question to her Facebook group as to what is on our various winter/New Year’s Bucket Lists. To be honest I finished all my fall/winter lists items already except for one, and now that seems to be the one to tackle going forward: searching for writing representation.

I got a list of managers that take unsolicited queries and script, and I started out with sorting them out, doing research and prepping queries to send out (one good thing about the research is that I realized I needed a manager, not an agent—two different things). I was hoping to have sent out more than I did (sent 6 so far), but it’s been slow going. I haven’t been active about getting more names to contact yet, in part because something came up that had my attention (nothing super huge, but nothing I can talk about right now), but it also takes time for places like those I’m querying to answer back (standard practice is to wait at least 8 weeks before you can gently nudge them again). It’s a waiting game but you shouldn’t just wait. I’ve been lax in exploring other avenues to push through and contact other representation, but it’s something I need to stay on top of. I’ve spent a long time on output of content and have enough to hit back the question “what else do you have?” Now I need to put it out there and try to catch a sale. To get to it, I need to get out of my own way again (which seems to be a running theme for me—me being my biggest obstacle) to find someone to represent me and my work. That’s basically my second full time job for this winter.

I’ve proved to myself that if you keep pushing, you can get what you want and need—a job, good habits, etc. Now I need to do that for my writing goals. No more procrastinating or fucking around. Time to get living!

Reviews and Resolve

This is the time of year for everyone’s Yelp reviews of the past year to come in. “1 Star—Nothing but masks, vaccine mandates, and school closures. This year sucked!” and the like. Personally this year was sort of a do what you make of it.

For most, this was a continuation of 2020—the 656^th day of Mach 13, 2020 minus the groundhog. We’re still wearing masks, new COVID strain numbers are ticking up again even if you are vaccinated, and we’re still wondering why others don’t want to save the rest of their neighbors. We’re all sort of in the same boat as last year in that case, even if some people are trying to row in the opposite direction. If and how it got better or worse depends on if COVID touched you personally or not.

For me things got better but with a more personal focus. If you’re a regular reader of this blog (and I use that term loosely), you know I’m usually hyper focused on how things in my life go wrong. This year, the change is more of a positive outlook. I got a new job at the beginning of the year just as my unemployment benefits were winding down, had to negotiate my way through that schedule transition with my daughter at home all day; helped her graduate high school, walk in the ceremony at Fenway Park, and her job hunt getting her first real job; changed jobs in August for one with benefits and slightly more money; and completed a bunch of writing projects. Plus, with the help of one of my best friends now living in New Hampshire, I’ve been changing my outlook to one creating and maintaining my own positive mental health. I started on an exercise program that I hope will have life-long changing results instead of fast gains and losses, and I’ve attained a more affirmative outlook on life. So far, it’s been a good year.

I know that’s not the same for everyone else in my life, not to mention the rest of the world’s populace. It feels like the USA is starting to circle the drain and might be dragging other countries with it, but it’s felt like that for a while. I can’t say the same for other countries though; I’d personally need to hear back from others across the globe.

I guess people will have to check in to see how 2021 as been and what they expect for the next year. For me, I hope to maintain this new attitude for more time to come, and keep moving one step at a time through 2022.

More Annoying Conversations With My Daughter

Earlier in the month, I walked into the house worn out, hungry, in a daze, when I saw something on the stove I hadn’t seen before. It’s a big, bright red thing on our black stove so it really stands out. I know it’s some sort of appliance but my mind is so fried I can’t think of the name. Sophia walks over to it proudly.

      Me: What is that?
      Sophia: Tati gave this to me for my birthday.
      Me: Yeah, but what the hell is it? A blender? (throwing out a wild guess working through
appliance names in my head)
      Sophia: No it’s for food.
      Me: So it’s a food processor?
      Sophia: No, it’s a stand up mixer. Duh!
      Me (not happy): I know what a stand up mixer is, I’ve just never seen one.
      Sophia: You’ve seen what a blender looks like, and that’s not one.

I hate it when your child can out-snark you. So not fair.

NaBloPoMo Tally

So the final numbers for November and the NaBloPoMo wasn’t bad.

• Total Posts: 21
• Total Words: 5,903
• Longest Post: “In The Heights: Film Review” (775 words)
• Shortest Post: “NaBloPoMo Here We Go Again” (70 words)
• Most Popular: “No Time To Brace Yourself” (20 hits)

For me that’s impressive. I tend to be verbose and prefer long sample essays. The hit and run strategy had me putting out things at an increased output. Something for me to remember.

Thanks all for reading the posts!

No Time To Waste

When I decided to do the NaBloPoMo challenge, I thought I’d have a little more time to write. I found out I’d be changing assignments at the beginning of November. I would be working at a different office doing similar work but mostly scanning stuff. It would be at least a six month project and was needed change from where I was. It wasn’t horrible, but I was supposed to fill in for one person at a production office doing intricate work for one week; then another employee ghosted them and I was kept there for nearly three months. I needed a change of scenery.

With that change came a change in workload. I’ve done more work in three days than I have in two months. It’s not strenuous or anything beyond my capabilities, it’s just a lot of preparation and workload. So yeah I’ve been too busy to really focus on a blog at the moment.

However that’s the challenge of the challenge. The NaBloPoMo is supposed to get you to get to work on your writing and keep up with it. Hopefully it would help you continue for the other 11 months of the year. So yeah I need to get back on the writing game. No trying to sculpt “Finnegan’s Wake,” just focus on day to day blogs. 😉

Back to the Blog?

Every year I decide whether or not I want to try to do the NaBloPoMo in November and try to write accordingly. Usually I’m up to the challenge and can write more; right now I’m off to a horrible start. Actually I think I was hoping trying to do the blog would take my mind off of things; instead my mind has other ideas—and not writing kinds.

It’s one of those times that I’m stuck in my own head. Too many delusions of grandeur and fantasy crushes are bouncing around my head instead of story ideas and/or plans to get to the next step of my career. Usually I’m trying to avoid whatever stress I’m under, but I haven’t been under that much stress lately. Work is work, money isn’t too much of a problem (though there are moments of doubt about that, like when I found out my electric bill was $650. Ugh), and I’m getting my routines adjusted. Still I’m spending more and more time living life in my head as opposed to here and now, and it feels like I’m on the run from something. Not sure what though. Scary thought: I’m running from things going well. I hope switching from alternative ballads to old-school punk on my playlists might help my attitude more.

Time to Catch Up

I’m amazed how fast time flies by these days. I knew I missed doing a few posts, but I had no idea almost a month has gone by. As usual, stuff if going on; again some of which can’t be talked about for personal reasons, but the rest is kind of blog worthy.

Aside from a toxic co-worker situation that has slowly stalled to an uneasy detent (which is good), my main problem is still the pain in my left hand. Luckily it’s not my dominant hand but it still makes things a little hard to manage. It started as pins and needles waking up in the morning and has evolved to various shooting pains when specific fingers flex and a dull throb in my wrist. I have to see my orthopedist to get a better look at it to figure out what it might be (which happens this week).Could be carpal tunnel syndrome. Could be I’m 52, my body is deteriorating, and my hand is in the lead. Hope to get a proper diagnosis soon so I know how to deal with (if not fix) the problem.

Best thing that happened so far is that Sophia graduated high school. This last year was rough for her as it was for a lot of senior due to the pandemic, remote learning, etc., but she pulled off passing her classes like a champ. Not only did she graduate, but her graduation was at Fenway Park. To give you an idea how monumental that is, I’m a New York Yankees fan, and I was incredibly happy for her to walk at Fenway. It was great to see her graduate with friends under the light at the park (even if it was the Red Sox’s park). Her celebration dinner is still being planned for August, and we seem to be right on track.

And cross one big thing off the summer bucket list: the first draft of the children’s story is done! 10 years delay, six months of work, and I have a suitable first draft of the story 10 days ahead of schedule. I’m taking a week off before I start revising, but it’s been a long time coming and feels great to have it finished. Now I can fine tune it into something ready to put out there.

So basically things are good.

Myth of Unproductivity

I suddenly started thinking about the term “unproductive” as it applies to writers. Usually it means that a writer hasn’t completed the necessary output of pages they set for themselves, or have spent too much time playing whatever online first-person shooter game is hot and it’s now time to binge-watch Wipeout. It’s a mark of failure for us writers who are trying to get work done.

However there is a particular problem with this term: it’s applying an industrial age business mentality onto an artistic mentality. Unproductive is about not meeting a factory or sales quota, not about the creative process. Many people who become or aspire to be writers eschew the corporate mentality and world itself because it doesn’t fit the needs of the work needed to write. We chose the creative path to get away from this mentality. Now that isn’t to say successful writers don’t aim to set goals, schedules, page/word counts and stick to them; we do, and we’re really good about beating ourselves up if we don’t meet them (maybe worse than any boss). But the writing process isn’t easily defined by an industrial work schedule.

To be more precise, even when I’m not writing, I’m creating or preparing to write. While I may not have published a blog entry that day, I may have been struggling with revising a few lines of a story to tighten it up. I may not open up my notebook, but I could work out in my own head how I see or hear a particular character talks. While page/word counts can be a good indicator of creative output, it’s not the only indicator. We create characters, build worlds, formulate languages in ways that aren’t quantified by a high word count, but in the total end results which can be flash fiction, haikus, or songs. If that really is the case, can there really be “unproductive” work days for writers? Only if we hold ourselves to a standard that doesn’t accurately apply to us.

Does this mean there are not days when we need to lay off the Facebook? No, we still procrastinate with the best of them, and our work will suffer because of it. What I think it does mean is we can go easy on ourselves simply because the writing work we did that day wasn’t quantified immediately on a page. There’s a difference between unproductive and lazy that we need to define better, for all writers and the public at large.

Hope this clears things up.

Progress and Not

There is one story that continues to confound me. I did a teleplay/TV movie many years ago for a friend which included in it a children’s book author. For two very specific scenes in it, I had to write the opening parts of two different children’s stories. One of them I really liked and wanted to do something with it later on and finish it (would probably get someone else to draw it), especially since the other friend didn’t particularly care for the children’s story I wrote. Unfortunately, a lot of time went between the script and trying to do something with the few lines I had that I’m having a hard time writing any of it now.

I can’t get into what the story is too much, but I like what I had. It was a few lines and some with rhyming couplets and had a great rhythmn to it, had some wonderful nature imagery—almost a Pacific Northwest feeling—and it really flowed when I first put it down on the page.Trying to continue it, I have no idea where to go. I still want to do something with it but no idea where to start or how to address it and that bugs me. I’ve had writing projects that I’ve let go for a while and had been abel to get back to it later; others were a conscious choice not to continue that writing. This one I want to continue but can’t seem to get on with it. It sucks.

On a more positive writing front, revisions of the theatrical play is going well. I had a reading of it earlier in the fall, and one of the biggest notes was that it was too long. Apparently full length plays are about 70-115 pages long; mine was running at 148. I was able to cut it down to 115 without sacrificing the drama. It’s leaner, but I need to adjust a few things to help tweak the characters a little. This is one of those scripts I picked up after a long time, and I’m handling this one.

Writing Workouts

Writing is going very slow lately. I know I should give myself a break because of a global pandemic, but it’s kind of annoying. It’s not like I’m blocked, not that the ideas aren’t there; they are I can say that for sure. It seems things are going at a snail’s pace. I have an idea what to write, but I get to the computer and lose it or it seems fuzzy. Instead of free flowing water, I get a leaky faucet. Things come out in dribs and drabs or not at all. It feels like I’m jumping hurdles that weren’t there before. Now it could be anxiety as usual or my own internal censors turned up to 11, but it’s definitely frustrating when you know what you are trying to do but how to say it is a mystery.

It’s two different projects I’m bouncing back and forth on. I’m revising my theatrical play, which needs cutting down and eliminate repetitions, among other things. Plus I’m starting on the pre-writing work on a speculative fiction screenplay; that mostly means character bios for main and supporting characters before we even get to “Fade In.” There’s at least a couple of main characters I have to figure out, and a LOT of supporting characters to figure out. Then it’s all fleshing out the character arcs/plot and get to writing. It’s getting back to the stuff I learned for my Master’s, revisiting it and making sure I work it for the scripts I want to do. I will say it’s interesting bouncing back and forth from one project that is in flux but near the end of the writing stage, and another at the very beginning stages of writing. Both different dramas, different forms, different themes and issues, and it’s definitely a workout.

Now if it would flow better and more readily, I’ll be less grumpy.