Still Many More to Go…

January 27, 2014

I was rereading my old post on having finished my poetry collection and the other projects I had to work on. As it seems, I haven’t gotten to the next one yet: the sci-fi western. As usual I can’t seem to get past the scene I’m at, which is towards the climax of the story. I’ve been second guessing myself with each word I put down. It sucks. I did manage to get a bit of it broken out today. Not a lot mind you but I can at least say I wrote a few new words this time rather than edit the older ones over and over. Progress I guess.

Maybe I’m beating myself up over it too much. I know I was hoping to finish it by the end of December, which turned into the end of January, which has now turned into around my birthday at the end of February. I hate going back on my word so much. Not that I actually gave my word to anyone, but I put it out there that I would finish soon; now soon can’t come soon enough. But needless to say I am chipping away at it. Ever forwards…

I really do want to work on the characters to a short film I want to do. I KNOW I have to flesh out the characters and plot before I even write “FADE IN,” even if it is a short. It’s complex and slightly insane idea and I want to get it hammered right.

We’ll see how things go.

Time Flies

January 19, 2014

Wow. I had no idea that I didn’t write any posts for the month of December. I know I ha stuff to write about, but I thought I posted something. I probably said to myself “This would make a great blog” then got caught up in the blur of my life and forgot to actually write it down, but assumed that what I did think had already been written down. Apparently not. So happy New Year and here’s what you’ve missed going on in my life.

  • In going to my friend’s house for Thanksgiving, Sophia got her first ride on Amtrak. I wanted to treat her to it (I LOVE train travel). She likes Amtrak as opposed to the regular Boston MBTA–which I don’t blame her for at all.
  • The word for December was “bloated.” Between Thanksgiving turkey, Christmas eve hot dogs and New York City take out, my stomach and intestines have declared war on me. I’m feeling better but the scars run deep.
  • Sophia turned 11, which a friend pointed out to me that I am officially the father of a pre-teen girl. A scarier concept I cannot imagine. My own primal fears of connection aside, she enjoyed her birthday party. A lot of friends gave her books, which should hold her over until the end of January. We had a Phineas and Ferb themed party in which we got to play Pin the Hat on the Platypus. We had the party at our church and the cake we had still had one-third left after we got through with it. So we were ableĀ  to leave it for the following week’s coffee hour at regular church for a whole different batch of kids.
  • After the party, the rest of the month got blurry. I know I did stuff to prep for the holidays and I worked and stuff, but I couldn’t for the life of me tell you what happened. Ironically if I had written it down in my blog as I told myself I should, I’d have a better memory of it.
  • Sophia really got into Christmas this year. We bought a tree–a real tree–about as tall as her and decked it out with lights and sports ornaments. With two cats I didn’t want to go too big or elaborate, as it would soon be over the floor. She said it was the best tree ever. Thanks to my parents and out in-home therapists, Sophia also lucked out with gifts big time. She got Monopoly Empire, a pair of winter boots, cap, scarf and gloves, a copy of the book “Divergent” (which she doesn’t seem crazy about), a copy of “Warriors: Untold Strories”, DVDs of “Madagascar 3” and “Despicable Me 2” (which she is crazy about), $20 gift certificate to Barnes & Noble, and a psychedelic bookmark from me. This year she gave me some gifts, which I wasn’t expecting. I got a winter hat (one of her old ones that fits me), a pen, a small memo pad (for writing poetry) and a larger 1 subject notebook (for art stuff). Best. Christmas. Gifts. Ever.
  • Most likely stress and anger (I was upset that Sophia suddenly changed her mind about going to church that evening for some stupid reason) got me so nauseous after dinner Christmas eve that I couldn’t hold anything down for 24 hours. A horrible day. Luckily I recovered in time to make and eat lasagna for Christmas dinner.
  • Speaking of stressful days, getting to my mom’s was no picnic. We overslept the alarm and missed the 11:30 bus, waited on standby for the 2:00 buss, lucky enough to get and stay on it–unlucky enough to hit all the traffic I was hoping to avoid with the 11:30 bus, eventually hit midtown stop about 8:30, and took train to mom’s house by 9pm. Long ass trip.
  • I made no resolutions for New Years. Tired of making promises I cant keep and raising expectations I can’t rise up to. I want to make better plans to achieve results in 2014. This past year was a lot of ups and downs, but things finally wound up on solid ground. I’m glad for that but now I have to make sure I stay steady.

So far the new year holds promises and a sample of difficulties to deal with. I just had my first full week (9-plus hours) of work this past week, so my reserves are spent. I need to make it to the end of the week when my check comes in. I may have a second part time job by February; biding my time until then but that will help money wise. Trying to restart my video work with a friend in NH (hoping to shoot some short video pieces for public access before spring) and by myself (have a short film idea I want to write and put out by end of year). Also have to get ready for the 1 year anniversary of Sophia’s mom’s death as well as my own 45th birthday.

As usual a lot of stuff on my plate and trying to manage it all. Luckily I’m feeling a little more clear headed to do proper time management.